Example: Conversation

Conversation is almost constant change. Changes in topic, feedback, expressions, tone, timing, seriousness, playfulness, experience, goals, and so on. ProxPatterns help us adapt to changes, improve the conversation, and maybe enjoy it more. ProxPatterns can also help us accept and relate to some contradictions and tension in the conversation.

We may honor the integrity of the other person by focusing on their interests for a while. We may actively involve them by asking questions and restating their points. We may allow some uncertainty by trying a new topic, and relate to the variety of ways they might respond with other PPs such as creating links between their experiences and ours.

We may smooth over a rough spot by reminding them and ourselves that what is important to us depends partly on our proximities. We may respond to something they do which is confusing by being aware of and appreciating that difference, since differences may signal some kind of relationship, or the possibility of a relationship.

So ProxPatterns can play various roles to help us relate better in a conversation.